One Photo Was Not Enough


Home is Where the Heart is
Home is Where the Heart is

This is a post that I had not thought of writing.

This is a post that challenged me to think outside the box and when confronted with a folder of pictures that were all me, it was impossible to look at the first one and write about it alone. The others all jumped up and shouted at me to see them too. The minute the album opened the entire experience filled my mind with thoughts both good and bad.
Me and My Shadow

There is a shot from my wedding (back in 1988). It is the oldest one in the group and here because I copied it for my anniversary last year. A day that was so terribly hot but I do not remember it that way.  I was so stressed and concerned that everything should go to plan that for a while I forgot to have fun and just breathe. I look back now and laugh. I wish my older self could send a message to my younger self that it will all be OK and just smile and take it all in as in a blink of an eye, the day will be over.

I have never EVER been very good at being in front of the camera and this is also a bunch of digital pics. I got through my entire pregnancy with not one shot being taken. At the time, I was pretty happy about that. Now…. I wish there was just one.  It is a time that will never happen again and  just one shot of my basketball tummy would have been nice.

I see friend weddings – one as a guest and one as a bridesmaid. My friends wedding, I had chemo brain and messed up the time..  We were a little late that day.. But it all worked out in the end..  Oh yes, “dexa” face.. It seems like only yesterday.  I am Matron of Honour in the other one..  It was an amazing day and I am proud to call Jus my friend. There are the after effects of being married smiling back at us a little while later too..  awww.. so very cute.

I have only recently decided to collate all my pictures into a single spot.  Then once it is done copy them onto disks and choose the best to end up in an album.  Will these ones make the cut?  Well maybe not.  Many are following the same theme..  They are quick little selfies as my face and hair change. In the past couple of years, actually almost three now it has changed a lot. Today is the day that I let them all out into the universe. The no longer need to hide as I cannot change how I looked right at that moment the shutter snapped. It is me, for better or for worse.

I have tried numerous wigs, hats and nude nut looks.  Some for fun, some for practicality and some, just because I could. Those who know me know that usually the nude nut look wins. In 2005 when I first said goodbye to my hair thanks to chemotherapy I wore a wig every single day to work. It was just too hard to continually explain it to everyone who walked in the front door.  I was the receptionist and there was an awful lot of people that came through that door.

In 2012 when my squatters moved in, I was beyond caring about my hair. Though one picture is the last one of my (probably ever) with shoulder length hair.  It was taken four days before Christmas and after two rounds of chemotherapy. It took all my energy and care to use hot rollers on hair that was going to fall out the very next day.  I had not had any family shots taken for more years than I could remember and with little notice it was a whirlwind to make it happen..

I see friends and remember all the functions and events I have attended and am so very happy that I have been able to share time and have amazing memories building up with friends and family.  In my past life, I would have found myself too busy to attend most of these things. I am so very happy that I have stepped up and taken up public speaking, it is something I enjoy very much.  There are even a couple of holiday shots and they are also times that are very dear to me as my holidays seem few and far between.

And then there is Hope. Hope D Super Turtle. She is there too. I created her in early 2013. She is my mascot and my strength when I need it. I am her and she is me but if you think I will be wearing my undies on the outside, think again.

Many of these shots show me smiling and happy. Many show me bloated, red, bald, tired and even some show me in hospital trying my hardest to escape. But they are all me and all part of my life experience.

I see now, that my challenge is actually not to write about these pictures. Once you start, it is easy.  The challenge is to continue to remember that no matter what your day brings, good or bad you can make the most of it and find something good to hold onto.

Sometimes I question my thoughts as all to easily I can begin to head to the dark side,  but I know that I am right looking at all these various shots that

– You can not change, alter or go back to your past – You can only accept it as exactly that..  Your past

– That it takes good and bad to make an awesome life. It is how you approach it that makes the difference

– Surrounding yourself with awesome and like minded people makes all the difference to getting through the day, week, month, year, LIFE..

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Snapshot Stories.”

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