The “Not So” Fairytale – Chapter One

–  In the Beginning

~ The “Not So” Fairytale of the Apartment Block and its Rowdy Tenants ! ~

Click here for the  Introduction and start of this tale



Why make it a fairytale beginning ??

Well why not, because hope and wonder are such amazing things. Why not hope for and wonder about a fairytale ending to my diagnosis??  I am sure most stories begin this way and if they don’t, we wish they would……..

Once upon a time…………cloud-rain

It was a rainy and cold November afternoon (11th November, 2004 – Remembrance Day – like I can forget) that I first met a rather noisy, all-consuming and annoying teenager called Breast Cancer (BC for short).  Who decided with totally no input from anyone (especially me) that she was going to become my very BBF and moved into the empty apartment in my left breast.

Now, I was obviously none to happy about this and felt that I had found myself with a bit of a “stalker” bcand  so, went immediately to see the Estate Agent, as she was in charge of all tenant agreements.  Even though it was not terribly neighbourly and totally out of character for me, I felt it was important not to show any real kindness to this new tenant.  It was absolutely my responsibility as the Building Superintendent,  to see what could be done about this new tenancy as it was immediately obvious to me that this tenant could cause untold damage in the Apartment Block.

After investigating all the laws surrounding tenants, a loop-hole was found and the Estate Agent set about using every trick in the book to evict BC and it seemed a very successful operation. The CSI team declared that after close and careful examination that BC had indeed been evicted and taken all her possessions with her. The decision was taken that to ensure BC did not sneak back in whilst security was taking a break and eating a sandwich and having a cuppa, that more barriers would indeed need to be erected.apartment block

So area specialists were employed to ensure the eviction had the best chances of success.  First to arrive on the scene was the Head Pest Inspector.  Whilst the damage of the eviction was being repaired, she spent time checking the apartment block over with machines that could see through walls and also used tests on the water pipes and heating system.  Once the eviction repairs were completed and all the test and investigation results had been compiled, the Fumigators were given the orders to fumigate the entire apartment block every three weeks for 18 weeks.

A truly wonderful bunch of professionals but even with this in my corner, the entire apartment block became very unwell and all tenants were cared for in the emergency department for a week after each fumigation.  In the end, the symptoms subsided and the Fumigators waved the apartment block tenants goodbye.

Just when the apartment block was thinking that things may be able to get moving back towards normal, in came the Head of the DS&E (Department of Smoke and Embers).  Using all the wonderful tests and investigation results from the Head Pest Inspector and Estate Agent, a program of “Burn ’em Out” was devised and each week day for 30 days the apartment block endured radiation zaps to the left top apartments.

Luckily, all tenants ducked for cover as much as possible, and the damage and injury was classified as collateral damage and the mop up teams assisted with the recovery after this was completed.

Continue on to Chapter Two – And Then


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