I have been asked twice now what would I like to achieve in 2014. My first thought went to World Peace (Miss Congeniality) but you do not win any prizes for knowing that becoming a magician turtle and making my cancer disappear is at the top of my list.
Well my list is actually a bit larger than that but I think ridding my body of my cancer would be a pretty cool thing. I know that no matter who you ask, the answer is the same, I will “officially” never be free of my cancer. I can be “stable” or “No Evidence of Disease” But officially it will always be here with me. So Stable and NED is my aim.. (But who says I cannot continue to aim high for “We just cannot understand where it went!!!” 🙂
Since Early December it has been a bit of a blur. When my new primary was located, of course it had to come out and I have been sorting myself out since then with rest, appointments and working through the shoulder issues (standard after op) and tiredness. I tried to continue with my Tai Chi one-armed.. It worked for a bit but was so very draining and my arm was just not happy enough to continue. So I took 3 weeks off. Walking has also gone by the wayside as the side effects from my treatment for ABC have been giving me just a little too much trouble. The trifecta was my food. I had been doing quite well, but upon leaving hospital my body crashed and burned and my cravings returned and it has taken time and acupuncture to slow them down.
So with all of this in my head it has been rather like a cyclone in my head. I want to be the best I can be (ignoring the ABC of course) and I thought that I could just wander through and it would just happen.. Well no, not for me. You see, I am a reformed control freak (or as I like to refer to it Organisational Entrepreneur). Some things are never forgotten and even though I am living with the least amount of stress and tension in my living memory I have been unsettled and could not stop the cyclone in my head until now has just been white light in my head (oh ohhh I always know something big happens after the white light settles). So here goes. I figure that if I write it down and put it out here in the blogosphere then I am accountable and it is here for me to see and continue with. I have changed so very much in my life and I think that this is just the level. I am doing this not because I have cancer but because I want my body and mind to be the best it can be and just quietly I should have been concentrating on this stuff years ago. I figure, it is never to late to grow and learn. I will indeed be tracking it all as I can measure my progress. I cannot just “wing it” no matter how hard I try. Those who know me will be nodding right now as they read this !!
Easy – GO ON HOLIDAY – have already booked the flights to Cairns and am working on the second trip locations.. Decisions, decisions
Moderate – Exercise – This is indeed a challenge for me. No matter what I try, I cannot seem to raise the bar. If I go past 7500 steps (light gardening, housework, walking) the minute I stop my body locks up and shuts me down (compliments of the treatment to keep my squatters at bay). The only thing that is good about it all is that in the beginning, I was not even getting to 2000 steps. So a vast improvement since July last year and honestly I am probably more active than I have been in years (just very very slow at it). But it is not consistent. So will continue working on different exercises and movements to improve my body and without taking a bucket load of pain drugs figure out how to keep on moving. I may have a “limit” but my task is to find it and keep on pushing the boundaries without doing damage to myself. I try to be kind to myself as the laugh my family get when at the end of the day I am sitting in the recliner and try to get out and use my legs to close the foot rest – funny but wearing thin.. my knees will not work and I get bogged !!!.. Pushing through the pain barrier is actually a health hazard for me. You can see my problem !!!
Moderate and Tricky – Food.. Oh yes, on paper this should be an easy one. Eat better.. Eat smart.. Nurture your body.. How much motivation does someone need ?? I have Advanced (Metastatic) Breast Cancer and I want to beat it.. So EAT FOR LIFE.. This is the tricky bit. My mind is up to its old tricks again and life sometimes gets in the way.. I refuse to make excuses but there are reasons for my slow uptake. Cravings are something that are there because there is an imbalance and without balance it will just keep on screaming at you. I have had a test done to show my intolerances to food and there is quite a few of the usual things that we all eat on the list. My head is at the point of bursting with all the information I have been reading about this food plan and that. Eat meat, don’t eat meat. Raw fruit and veg – nooo cook it. Dairy is your friend, dairy will kill you. Eat in combination, drink juice, alkaline. Today something will help you then tomorrow it will kill you..
So I have decided that following an exact plan will probably never work for me as I have about 10 things that are off my list (4 forever and 6 that I may be able to revisit). I am still 5kg outside of my “healthy” weight range and while some may disagree with the chart, I have to aim somewhere and besides I know that I am still carrying too much weight. I have indeed lost 12 kg since finishing chemo last January but I think eating the foods that do not agree with me is the answer of why. I totally LOVE food and I cannot think of a life where I am not happy with what I eat, so I will find my balance. I figure if you try something that is too extreme and left field then you are not likely to continue with it. I am happy to change and as my body learns to like it, it will be easier to maintain and become a lifestyle.
So, holiday – exercise and meditate – sort out my food.
This is the next level for me and providing my squatters behave I am sure I can get all of this sorted this year. So to keep me honest, I will write in here. If I am the only one who reads it that is OK too. But by the end of the year I hope to have a new title Sharon – healthy and happy food and exercise superstar who goes on holiday – Long title but I like it.. This is indeed going to be a wonderful 2014